英语搞笑笑话

时间：2021-04-14 13:23:35 英语笑话我要投稿

英语搞笑笑话

　　有笑话，大家一起笑，这就是分享快乐，也许，快乐就是这么简単。下面YJBYS小编为你带来英语搞笑笑话，希望你会喜欢。

英语搞笑笑话

　　英语搞笑笑话一则

　　Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

　　Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".

　　老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?

　　汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"

　　英语搞笑笑话二则

　　Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?

　　Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.

　　妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的?

　　汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇瓶子了

　　英语搞笑笑话三则

　　Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?

　　Jack: Certainly.

　　Tom: And why?

　　Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.

　　汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他?

　　杰克：当然应该了。

　　汤姆：为什么?

　　杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。

　　英语搞笑笑话四则：它们是从美国直接带来的

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

　　这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

　　英语搞笑笑话五则：He is really somebody他真是一个大人物

　　My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　He is really somebody. What does he do?

　　A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　我叔叔下面有1000个人。

　　他真是一个大人物。干什么的?

　　英语搞笑笑话六则：墓地守墓人。

　　Boss's idea

　　When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

　　Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.

　　Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

　　"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."

　　由于我的打印机不能打印出清晰的字来，我就打电话给维修部。电话是一位非常和蔼的男人接的，他说我的打印机也许只是需要清理一下。

　　他还说，如果让维修部清理的话要交50英镑的清理费，让我最好看看使用手册自己试着清理。

　　当时我真的被他的话感动了，就问他：“你们老板知道你这样拒绝生意么?”

　　“事实上，这就是我们老板的'主意，”雇员答道：“因为如果我

　　英语搞笑笑话其责：谁欠谁钱

　　A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.

　　律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室，问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗?律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后，店主打开邮箱，发现一封来自律师的信，信上写道：咨询费250美元。

　　英语搞笑笑话八则：婚礼上有长官在

　　A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.""But ,officer, I ….""I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."

　　大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我……”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。”“你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。

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